But I am only small

Sometimes, when they say; “it’s ok now”, I don’t believe them. I still feel scared.
Sometimes, I get worried that the monster might come back.
Sometimes, when Mummy says, “Have good dreams” I don’t. I dream of him.
Sometimes, I get really angry and can’t control my hands or feet.
Sometimes, I cry. I don’t even know why but it seems to make them cross.
Sometimes, when people shout even if they’re playing I don’t have time to find a toilet.

I wish I could explain that I don’t mean to make them cross.
I wish I could explain that I don’t mean to be so naughty.
I wish I could explain that my thoughts feel all confused.
I wish I could explain that I still see his hands around your neck.

But I am only small.
Please hear me in my actions.

My name is Ashleigh and I am an Integrative Counsellor and TFT practitioner working with children and young people who have been affected by Domestic Abuse. This poem is based on no one client in particular because this is sadly the message that many of them carry. In fact this is a message that I believe a vast majority of children carry. They are not able to articulate their thoughts and feelings in an ‘Adult like’ fashion because they are children. However they are most definitely trying to tell people how they feel and they can often only do this through their behavior. If behavior is communication, who will listen?

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